I’m standing in front of a colossal, ornate gate; a white cherub on each side. It’s an overwhelming feeling. To hear who you’re going to be.
I’m new. It’s my first time. A combination of random elements thrown together is what I am.
I’m auditioning for the part of a famous pop star. Leaning forward I press the button on the intercom; I tell them I have an appointment. Without warning the gate slowly starts to open. Blinding light is all I see. I can’t see.
I’m new. It’s my first time.
He is sitting behind a desk, looking distinguished…beard and all. On both sides of him respectively an older woman and a younger woman. The stage is infinite. By now I’m so used to the light, it feels completely natural. As natural as non-existent.
All I can think of right now is getting the part. It’s my only chance. Everyone’s entitled to one audition of their choice; failing to get the role means getting assigned another one. Not of your choice.
I float to the stage. He starts throwing scenarios at me; asks me what I’d do…21st century competency-based interviewing.
A unique arrangement of components in a mass production is what I am.
I know I did well. I can feel it. And then he says NO.
That’s what I’ve been picturing as my life all along, being this pop star. What am I supposed to do now? I’m lost in my own self.
He tells me I’m too sensible to handle the fame that comes with the role. And I know this should feel like a compliment, but it doesn’t. It actually hurts. He says it’d be too boring to watch. Emotionally unstable and dysfunctional combinations are suitable only. They never fail to fail; and that makes it interesting to follow. He announces I’m going to be a nanny.
I’m new. It’s my first time. And it’s not like I have a choice at all. I guess it’s my combination. But hey, it might be fun. And God says,’ NEXT’.
I start walking away from the X mark on the stage and he says, “By the way, you won’t be able to talk in your first 12 months or so. Until you forget. I can’t allow a leak you know.”
I wish it wasn’t all predetermined. I wish I had a chance at this thing called life.